Monday, June 04, 2007

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AZBOs Part 2

Product Number: 158-162
Price: £9.99-£12.99 each
Where can I get one: Trade: Nemesis
Retailers: Forbidden Planet, Tribal Voice, Equinox Gift Shop (Tenby)

Back in the 50 visitor a day era of Blagman, when I felt like I’d do anything to entice people to the website, I once thought about adding the site to a mixture of ‘child-frendly’ site lists. After all back then the site had mostly reviewed toys and food, so it seemed like the early could offer a safe haven for children. Thankfully I had a momentary sense of badness and realised that there are some things which just aren’t fit for kids. And after all we couldn’t really be the “review anything website” if we only reviewed products for under 13’s now could we?

Take the AZBO’s for example; Fantastically detailed figures but not exactly something you’d want to get in to the hands of young children. Heaven forbid that they would decide to take on any of the characteristics of the below band of misfits:

Alco Frolic (£12.99)

Each of the AZBO candidates in today’s update suffer from some sort of addiction and essentially that’s what shapes their grotesque appearance. Alco Frolics vice is obvious and her party lifestyle is fantastically illustrated with her overflowing pint glass and bumper sized bottle of champagne. As I mentioned last time I’m a sucker for the little details and this model in particular offers everything from exposed knickers, on-display bra straps, tan lines, and tights. Not that it’s in any way sexy, the half zombie like state of her eyes and mouth see to that but it’d certainly make a nice figure for any potential party animals in the making as a satirical look on their life.

Mosher (£12.99)

I have absolutely no idea how Mosher can support his giant guitar with such small hands but I guess the master model makers at Nemesis Now must be masters of balance. In case you’re wondering there’s absolutely no way to see Mosher’s face no matter how you turn the figure, it’s forever obscrubed by his long locks and punk lifestyle. Whilst the tattoo, and skeleton fingers are a nice touch I can’t help but wish he was holding his free hand in the air in a rock salute…

Evo Stick (£12.99)

Mosher may be stable but Evo Stick definitely is not. Balanced precariously on two angled feet but offblanaced by a skateboard and oversized spray Evo Stick is an accident waiting to happen. He was the first figure I took a photo of purely because I was so worried I’d topple him over and break him before I even got around to the article. Thankfully he’ll balance well enough on his own but the slightest knock may be enough to send him on to his back. Which is a shame because his graffiti splattered trousers and shoes and his paint stained hands make him a very interesting figure.

6 Pak (£12.99)

If the AZBO’s have a leader then 6 Pak would be it. Each of the figures contain cards detailing their ASBO record and 6 Pak includes such hum dingers as Address: “Wherever I Wantz” and Country of Birth: “F.U. “. Still once you get over the macho attitude there’s still plenty to like such as the massive boom box, obligatory bling and well detailed baseball. And don’t forget those white eyes without pupils, sure to make you do anything he says…

Needy Weedy (£9.99)

Last time I remarked how Phatso and Virus were adorable thanks to their rounded shape and Needy Weedy is just as loveable. Sure he may be so hoped up on his vices that he thinks he lives on Mars but you can’t argue with a figure that shows such fantastic hair. In fact with his large white eyes, tiny nose and detailed face you’d be mistaken for thinking Needy Weedy was an Anime character gone wrong.

That’s it from the AZBO’s and our un-PC period, so you can unlock the kids, free the pets and carry on as if nothing ever happened. But be sure to keep one eye open for the AZBO's, as they could be lurking on any street corner, or perhaps if you like then, on a shelf or dark corner in your very room...

Read more on AZBOs Part 2:

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