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Product Number: 151
How Much: £7.50
Where can I buy one: Suck UK

A few months ago I stumbled across the Voodoo Knife set which for those too busy to click is essentially a man like figure which you can use to store knives. Each knife slots somewhere in to the man and it’s designed as a 'fun' way of taking out your anger. Well proving that the pen is mightier than the blade it seems the Voodoo Knife display has had a son, and he’s every bit as unlucky.


Looking a little bit like a cross between Spiderman and Morph, Dead Fred is an unlucky anti hero who even in death is willing to lend a hand to the human populace. Or perhaps that should be a heart given that Fred seems to missing that all important organ…

Not that he’ll miss it really given that he’s made of silicone rubber and that his eyes have been replaced by giant Xs just in case you were searching for any last signs of life. Whilst Fred may have no use for the missing part of his being you certainly will and wouldn’t you know it his ‘heart hole’ is the perfect size for storing a pen or pencil whilst you beaver away on your latest novel.


There’s also the added Voodoo factor of the human like doll which you can use to full effect if someone out there needs a bit of a heartfelt touch every now and then. For those that believe in Voodoo, Fred can be jabbed in the heart or you can always jab away at his hands, feet and head or even just thrown the doll down the stairs if you’re feeling extra cruel. Naturally I’ll leave the cruelty up to you, but I accept no responsibility if someone at the opposite end of the planet suddenly falls down the stairs ‘accidentally’.

The more traditional users of Fred (i.e those not out to hurt someone…) will find he’s a very handy companion for storing a writing implement. The two advantages of this are that it makes it easier to find a pen if you’ve got a table full of papers and that it ensures your pen is pointing downwards at all times, helping to ensure a flow of ink when you’re ready to start writing again. Perfect for anyone who’s ever had a brilliant idea only to lose it whilst faffing around getting a pen to work.


Sadly Fred isn’t pose-able so you can’t really do much with him other than lay him flat on a surface. In the above picture I managed to balance Fred against my computer screen but as soon as I tried to pull the pen out he slumped down on the floor like the corpse that he is. It’s a shame the team at Suck UK don’t include something sticky to attach Fred to a wall as I’m sure there are a few people out there that would prefer to use him in this way, but I guess you can always find some sticky back tape and create your own solution.

Dead Fred is a stab in the heart for every missing pen you’ve ever had. He makes a neat desk ornament too if you’re looking for something a little different and if someone doesn’t like him then you know what to (voo)do.