Friday, April 06, 2007

Onion Defence Force

What is it with onions’ trying to ruin peoples lives? Although the most publicised home wrecking activity is making grown men cry let’s not forget the way they make you need to rub your eyes. If you oblige in their fiendish plot then you’ll rub onion in your eye and spend the next 10 minutes screaming around in agonising pain. Realising that we should take control once again I’ve exposed two onion beating products below:

Name: Alligator: The Onion Cutter
Product Number: 124
How much: £19.99 RRP
Where can I buy one: Kitchen Monger.co.uk


Sounding quite frankly like the best B-movie there never was comes “Alligator: The Onion Chopper”. Sadly the tag line’s not quite as cool as your typical movie but it does claim to be “fast and easy” at cutting onions, fruit and vegetables. Personally I think they should have gone with “Watch out for the bite! It stinks!” but that may have put people off.

Another onion nightmare I missed out above is the hassle of cutting onions down in to little pieces. Sure you can buy pre chopped onions but quite often they’re too small to taste and lack a lot of flavour so the only way to do things professionally is to chop your own. Thankfully the Alligator aims to make this task a breeze by clamping its razor sharp teeth on whatever you put in its way.


To use it all you do is peel your onion, chop it in half and place it on a board. Then you push down the Alligator’s teeth and seconds later you’ve cut your onion in to long strips. If you fancy cubes then all you need to do is slide the teeth back in and you're all sorted. All of this means less time faffing about and less time having to handle the onion itself, greatly reducing your odds of touching your eyes with onion juice!

It works really well too and proved to be a definite time saver in my trials at home. The only real reservation before using the alligator was how it would be to clean. I figured excess bits of onion would get stuck in the gaps where the blades come down and that the whole thing would be an absolute nightmare. Thankfully I was absolutely wrong and the designers have included a thin plastic film beneath the gaps. All you need to do to remove those excess bits is lift up the film and wipe off the bits. It’s not perfect and you’ll still have to wash out a few excess bits with water but the whole thing takes just as long to clean as a chopping board so it’s definitely no less convenient.

Sadly you’ll still have to touch the onion (unless you wear gloves) but this brings me on to my next product:

Name: Rub-Away
Product Number: 125
How much: £6.99 RRP
Where can I buy one: Kitchen Monger.co.uk


Sometimes it’s easy to be a cynic and with the Rub-Away I’ve got to admit I had my doubts. A bar that can take away bad odors from your hands including onion, garlic and diesel oil smells? Frankly that sounded like a load of old nonsense but I decided to give it a go anyway. After chopping the onions I wiped my hands with the bar and lo and behold the smell remained!

The inner cynic in me jumped in the air, proud that it had identified a duff product and I returned to my mac to write this review. Doing a quick price check I soon stumbled upon the words ‘Just add soap’. Although the packaging had made no allusion to this I decided to go along, just to make sure my verdict was correct. Frustratingly it wasn’t, the bar worked and my inner cynic died a little that day. On the plus side I did find an effective way to remove the smell of onions from my hands before a romantic meal so I can't complain too much.

R.I.P Inner Cynic….

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Every product on this site has been received for free, and given to me by the product manufacturer or their associated PR organisation in return for a review.

I have no other personal or business association with these companies, and all reviews are written truthfully and based on my own experience. If I hate a product I will say so (and have done on many occasions!).