Friday, December 08, 2006

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Bradley Walsh's Soccer Shockers

Back when I was at school it didn’t matter if the defender let someone past, or if the forward passed to someone else, if a goal went in and you were the goalkeeper then it was your fault. Of course things weren’t really so clear cut back then, with 10 lads on a tennis court kicking randomly and hoping one of their limbs would hit the ball it really wasn’t so clear cut just who was to blame. Thankfully with professional football and a much bigger pitch when someone messes up it’s very easy to see.

As is the case with this compilation which chronicles the best global Soccer Shockers from over the years going back as far as 1960. Bradley Walsh also features as he returns to Griffin Park where he used to play many years ago. Through his journey he encounters such memorable events as a janitor winking in a corner (“I said winking!”) and various phone calls from his agent / contractor. He also manages time to lie about the running time by exclaiming that he’ll be bringing you soccer shockers “for the next hour or so” when the DVD really only lasts 52 minutes.

Despite this short running time there are still a lot of standout moments which will at least make the DVD memorable for a couple of watches. As with school the first people to get the blame are the goalkeepers, although in this case it’s clear to see exactly how they mess up. I won’t spoil the many delights on offer other than with a few screenshots on this page, because a lot of the joy comes from the unexpected.

And I’m doubting that he expected that….

To make the DVD more than just a series of clips Walsh also provides a voice over which for the most part does the job. Lines such as “If he’d gone any further out of his area he’d have had to pay to get back in to the stadium” while not comedy classics are more than enough to do the trick. Walsh’s commentary also proves highly useful for those blink-and-you’ll-miss-them moments where he’ll warn you exactly what to look out for, and if you still miss it several clips are played back in slow mo for a second chance.

Aside from goalkeepers other people to get a raw deal are defenders and forwards, so pretty much everyone really. Oh, and lets not forget everyone’s favourite friends: referees who also get a montage of clips at their expense. Last of all there’s also a few clips of off the pitch violence to round the DVD off.

Although barely longer than the first half of a footy match while it lasts Soccer Shockers is likely to prove great entertainment for anyone who has ever laughed at a players expense. Naturally if you’ve got a footballing family and you need something for the festive period then you can’t really do much better than this. Well this or a kick about in the back garden… just make sure you don’t go in goal.

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