Freebie-Man: Unazukin

Today I was faced with an interesting conundrum, how to review a product which is the devil in toy form. Unazukin is a ‘cute’ toy designed for young children to help answer life’s little questions with a nod of her head for ‘yes’ or a shake of her head for ‘no. She can even give a double nod, or double shake for definitely yes or no. Sounds nice… so why is mine pure evil?

It started off well enough with the usual little boy questions. Will Marie kiss me when she gets home today? Will I become rich? Will I live forever and become grand Master of the Universe? All of those questions got ‘yes’ responses which means I’m in for a good few weeks. Convinced I’d found a good magic eight ball substitute I sat the toy down, pressed the off switch and started to type a review.

Then the strangest thing happened. Unazukin shook her head from side to side. I looked over and she’d stopped moving. I pressed the off switch again and she nodded to tell me she was turning off. 5 seconds later there was another nod of the head and then another. Creepy stuff.

Later in the day Marie got back and I did indeed get my kiss (Master of the Universe here I come). We proceeded to ask the ‘toy’ a few more questions and eventually turned to the topic of evilness. “Are you evil? – Yes”, “Do you hate us? – Yes”, “Are you going to kill us in our sleep – Double Yes”. After that response Marie threw our new evil friend on the floor and we eventually tried to sleep.

Thankfully we made it through the night to bring you this warning. Unazukin’s may look cute but they actually harbour the souls of small mystics*. They lie in wait, ready to attack when you least expect it. Thankfully the people at Bandai are comedians, and they decided not to give Unazukin any arms, which means you’re actually perfectly safe. What this all means is that the Unazukin’s are doomed to a life of constant servitude, nodding and shaking their heads and helping guide your life.

*Disclaimer: Unazukin’s are in fact harmless, unless swallowed. In which case please see your local GP.

To get your own Unazukin Mystic from Amazon click here

Or to visit the wonderful word of Unazukin at Bandai.co.uk click here